It's Sort Of Weird

First there was Blu, who was the cat equivelent of an albino and had multiple problems because of that.  I started having to shove medications down his throat more than a decade ago.  And then there was the whole period when Mom fell at my house and ended up with compression fractures of her spine.  At the same time I needed major surgery.  That was the beginning of two years from hell and trying to take care if everybody at the same time - myself, my mom,  and my furrbutts.  Yeah, that was fun.

And Blu needed more and more medication and Blackberry, just a few months younger than him, began to slide into the need for more and more medications as well.

Then I lost Blu to cancer.  And less than two years later my garage produced 14 needy kittens and we went through rounds of respiratory infections, giardia, and tapeworms.  And all the while Blackberry needed more meds morning and evening.

By the time Blackberry died 3 weeks ago she was getting meds morning and night plus sub-cutaneous fluids every other day.  She had her own pill case, morning and evening pills, pills she only got twice a week, and liquid meds in the fridge

And now Blu is gone, all the kittens are gone, Blackberry is gone, and I'm down to just two seemingly healthy cats.  Nobody needs meds.  But the weird thing is that I have this strong pull to go to the kitchen and get meds every night.  If I watch Netflix I want to turn right at the top of the stairs as I come up from the family room at night.  If I read in bed I want to go to the kitchen before I turn out the lights.  I'm so used to taking care of a sick somebody that I still want to go get their meds.

I'm free of having to get somebody in, to pay somebody, to give meds to a cat twice a day for the first time in a decade.  I'd like to run away now and celebrate my freedom. I'd like to go over to the ocean and get an ocean front room.  Or go to Pittsburg and go enjoy their art museums, the national aviary, and their zoo.  But I'm so broke because of vet bills that I can't run off and celebrate.  I haven't even gotten Blackberry's last bill yet because her vet is way more interested in condolences than bills.  Which is why I still take my cats to her even though it means an hour's drive each way.

Pets - can't live with them, can't live without them.

And I'm hoping Mama just has the hiccups right now...